For most of you in long-term relationships, the romantic nuances that brought you together fall by the wayside as life happens. It’s understandable because in a life full of mundane moments, it can be hard to see the good over the bad.

I believe the secret is in how we create the moments that we want to fill our lives and whether or not we’re with someone who makes us actually want to. Keeping these nuances alive is one of the factors in couples who either grow apart and live parallel lives, or continue to grow together.

These simple nuances shouldn’t be the icing on your cake; they should be the flower that you water everyday.

For me, the seed was planted in Braden’s hallway the day I met him. Waiting for the bathroom, I found myself engrossed in an entire wall of Braden’s pictures. In my head, I’m thinking, “what a good guy – here he is successful, with a beautiful home, but most of all look what he values. Friends and family.”

He and I actually found ourselves waiting outside of the bathroom together (thanks to the person inside that was either having a very good or a very bad time), and we started up a conversation. Let me tell you, the conversation got real, quickly! I told him about my divorce and his question to me was, “I just have to know – how do you go from till death do us part to divorce – how does that happen?” It’s hard to come up with a single answer to describe the demise of a 15-year marriage while you’re waiting outside the bathroom but I told him, “we hadn’t kissed each other on the mouth for many years.” By the look on Braden’s face, I could tell that this was unfathomable. He said, “I just can’t imagine not kissing my wife passionately every single day.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, was the first time my toes had curled in a long, long time.

So fast forward seven years in. A move, some major illnesses, teenage daughters, and life happening.

Yeah, we’ve had our mundane moments, but so many more great than bad. He and I still kiss with tongue, everyday with the exception of the other night (but we made a point to point it out!) If you’re in a long-term relationship and thinking to yourself as you read this, “ugh, do I have to kiss him?” then this is something you need to get ahead of before it’s too late. If you’re considering a long term relationship with someone, and that’s your reaction – perhaps you shouldn’t commit to that person. Ultimately, you need the right ingredients, and you need the right guy.

If you know you have the right guy, just give the notion a chance. It will do wonders for your everyday relationship.